West rigged us out of UNWTO post, Cdes

West rigged us out of UNWTO post, Cdes
Published: 19 May 2017 (259 Views)
Dear Cabinet  and Politburo members

COMRADES, I am really disappointed that one of our best ministers, Cde Walter, was rigged out of the secretary generals' position of the United Nations World Tourism Organisation (UNWTO) at the body's congress held in Madrid, Spain last week.

Where in the world do you have a contender, who is leading by such a run-away margin, who ends up being placed second in the final run-off vote? I am telling you this as someone who has been in politics for a very long time.

And the usual suspects, our Anglo-Saxon detractors, were at it again. They realised what a coup it would have been had a Zimbabwean emerged as a winner in the race to lead such an important UN agency.

I am told after the first round of the election, there was a lot of lobbying - even threats - to the voting members to ensure that Cde Walter lost the final vote.

All that massive rigging and widespread intimidation notwithstanding, the final result was a photo finish, which shows how popular our candidate - and by extension ourselves - were in this race.

The world now wants progressive leaders, yet the West still thinks it is proper to foist leaders on the people.

This is very bad.

The whole membership of the African Union was unanimous in throwing its weight behind Cde Walter after we had shown the body what real leadership is like during our tenure as the chairing nation of this continental bloc… so it was only natural that they settled for Cde Walter.

Sadly this was not to be as the country's enemies decided to spite us just for the sake of it… not that they would benefit anything from our loss. That is how evil these people can be.

They are like a snake that bites even that which it can't eat.

Anyway, to Cde Walter, I should say do not despair, because this was a good learning curve… the next time you give a go at such a race you will certainly romp home to a resounding victory.

I should also point out to most of you my Cdes in the party… those of you with vaulting ambitions… Cde Walter has shown you the way… instead of wasting your energies fighting against one another - he-eh Gamatox, he-eh Weevils, he-eh G40, he-eh this and that, you should follow his example.

Leadership does not end on our national borders, so you should think global. Even though he was rigged out, he did put the country on the map. After this, more people in the world know that there are real leaders in Zimbabwe.

Last, but not least, I am impressed by this young boy who was recently elected to be the next President of France… the boy has the true qualities of a statesman and I am very sure when he grows up he will become one.

Of all things, a French President could do, he started off by admitting that colonialism was a crime against humanity, an evil that should never have happened in the first place.

That is how leaders should be… open-minded, honest and frank!

The world needs such clear-minded leaders… leaders without any prejudices or any hangovers of any sort.

If the West could have just half a dozen such leaders, it would become a much better place!

Kindest Regards

Yours Sincerely




We commiserate with our brother, Cde Dr Walter Mzembi, who lost the race of a lifetime that could have seen him becoming the secretary-general of the UNWTO. After all that effort, we cannot argue against those that say the brother slept with his shoes on that day. As a fellow super-patriot, what Dr CZ can swear to positively is that there is no iota of truth whatsoever in the rumours emanating from Masvingo province that the brother could be sick and tired of life in this country as we have grown to know it, and was, therefore, seeking a smart way out of it all. It's simply not true. The brother loves his country so much that now that his vision for global tourism has been rejected by the world, he is going to implement it locally so that our hotels and other hospitality facilities that have been closing left, right and centre can start re-opening.

There is some mischief-maker -also from Masvingo - who wanted to know how much Cde Dr Mzembi and his high-powered team invested in this campaign that saw them visit 31 of the 33 countries that vote in the UNWTO elections. He wanted to know who was funding these junkets. And he also wanted to know if these funders know that during the rainy season, communities in Chiredzi are cut off from the rest of the country for weeks - if not months on end - because there is no decent bridge over the Runde River?

Well, Dr CZ honestly does not see any remote link whatsoever between Cde Dr Mzembi's colourful global campaign and the sorry plight of the villagers who chose to live on the wrong side of the river, or even those who claim to be stranded at Chingwizi after being evicted from the vicinity of the Tokwe Mukorsi Dam for their own safety. Talk of comparing a jellyfish to a guitar!

Anyway, these are the same detractors that have tried to cast aspersions on the authenticity of Cde Dr Mzembi's academic qualifications… and have also accused him of taking part in the destruction of the Save Conservancy. We are now so used to them. Evil killjoys!

Brutal truth!

"If you are not residing in Zimbabwe, you have no entitlement to citizenship because you are not contributing anything!" We are told this is what Cde Ziyambi Ziyambi, the Zanu-PF legislator and former home affairs deputy minister, thinks.

We sincerely hope the lawyer brother was misquoted, but in the case that he was not, we are not amused at all. Some Zimbos appeared surprised, yet despite the fact that his name might sound like a warped vinyl record, he was only telling the truth… there are some people in this country who are more Zimbos than others… it has always been like that so we don't see what we can get from pretending that this is not the reality as it obtains on the ground.


This one came all the way from Nyanga where Dr CZ's journo colleagues had taken time from their very busy schedules to grace this event that was being hosted by this United Nations agency.

Last time Dr CZ reported that WW3 nearly erupted at this agency's function over some memory sticks that some journo colleagues felt they were entitled to… we are told that this time the world nearly came to an end because of the delayed disbursement of per diems that were supposed to be delivered to these important professionals through a mobile money transfer facility. This should not happen ever again, lest the agency is considered to have closed itself from this country! Let it not say it was not warned. If it is in this country to provide relief, it should know that journos need this relief more than any other citizen!

Good, very good!

Dr CZ is so, so elated. At the weekend, CAPS United lost its match in Egypt; Yadah continued on a losing streak - losing its third match in a row; and the Highlanders-Dynamos match was abandoned. Good. Very good! As a self declared and/or confessed enemy and/or hater of anything soccer, Dr CZ rejoiced his tail off.

Imagine the energies that have so far been invested in the barren debate about whether the controversial goal in the match between DeMbare and Bosso was offside or not. If all that energy could be connected to the national power grid, it could power a small town like Bindura, Chiredzi or Chivhu, yet all this is going to waste. As a country that is in the throes of all things Command, it is high time we learn to harness some of these natural resources for our own good.


Talk of a dangerous accident of coincidence… just as Afrobarometer was releasing trusty survey results which showed that Zimbos trust religious leaders a lot (72 percent), one of Dr CZ's brothers, Cde Tichafa "Tich Mataz" Matambanadzo, suddenly reportedly emerged as a "prophet". What more can Zimbos ask for?

This reminds Dr CZ of his long coming project, CZ Ministries International. Maybe this is the most opportune moment to unleash it.

Job Interview

Officer: What is your name?

Monday: MP sir

Officer: In full please!

Monday : Monday Paul

Officer: Your father's name?

Monday: MP sir

Officer: What does that mean?

Monday: Matthias Paul

Officer: Your native place?

Monday: MP sir

Officer: What's that?

Monday: Mkpuma Province

Officer: What is your qualification?

Monday: MP

Officer: (Angry) What is that?!!!

Monday: Mathematics professor

Officer: So why do you need a job?

Monday: It is because of MP sir

Officer: Meaning?

Monday: Money problems

Officer: Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What is your personality like?

Monday: MP sir

Officer: And what is that?

Monday: Marvellous Personality

Officer: I see… I will get back to you.

Monday: Sir, how was my MP?

Officer: And what is that again?

Monday: My performance.

Officer: I think you have MP.

Monday: Meaning?

Officer: Mental problem!!!

Do not laugh alone. Send this to MP (many people) to put a smile on their faces. I have sent this to you because you are MP (my people). Good Morning!


- fingaz

Tags: Tsvangirai, UNWTO, Cdes,

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